hi, happy wednesday. so today's mental healthweek topic is to discuss mental health and support, so what better day to discuss anxietyand asking for help? or, not asking for help, i suppose? so, here's the thing: i alwaystalk about how it's beneficial to reach out, have communities feel like it's okay to honoryour vulnerability and feel like it's okay to ask for help, but i am terrible about actuallytaking my own advice. especially when it comes to my anxiety, and i think that has a lotto do with, i think probably internal notions of ability, if i'm being honest. i think there'sa lot to do with, "oh, it's okay if other people, you know take breaks here and areokay with asking for help, but i have to push through," kinds of things, and i recognizehow hypocritical that is, but i do think that
i still do it, that i push myself to the limitsthat iknow i shouldn't because that's what i'm used to, because i'm used to having noother choice. and usually there isn't another choice. when it comes to my anxiety now--see, likeit's so, the interesting thing, is i don't feel like i have any stigma with this. i'mvery comfortable discussing these things, but i think it's like the cultural, the culturalthing um, making me feel vulnerable because i'm not even wanting to make eye contact rightnow. anyway, right now, i have a lot of support when it comes to my issues, when it comesto wanting to reach out about my anxiety, um, my various components of trauma. i feelvery confident about the support that i have,
it's not that i don't have that anymore. however,it's actually using those resources that is difficult for me because i still feel likea bother for using them, like a burden for reaching out to people, even though i knowthat's not true logically i know that the people i have in my life are very much willingto help in any way that they can and would, if i was in an emergency, drop everythingthat they were doing to help support me. but i think the stigmas that we have in our, likeu.s. culture about mental health disorders, mental illness, however you choose to frameit, is that there is a lot of stigma around it, and trying to work through that to identifyas being stigma-free is a process, and while i don't think that i, while i don't thinkthat i have stigma with what i am going through
anymore, i think that it's still not linear,and that that's okay, and i think that you should honor those emotions when they comeup. and asking for help is hard. i tell so manypeople that it's okay to do it, that i'm always there for them, that if they ever need methat i'll be there, but when i hear those words said to me, i thank people for them,but there's still a component than doesn't fully believe it. and that's totally on me,that's like, very much my issues, but it's still there, and i still need to honor that.so, yes i don't have any stigma with what is going on in my life. i'm unapologetic aboutwhat i go through. it's a part of my identity and i'm okay with that, but i do think it'simportant to honor the ways in which our culture
makes me feel ashamed for it, because i thinkthat that has a lot to do with how certain people respond in certain ways, and that willimpact everything, i think. so, yes, i am stigma-free, but i think that the way thatamerica responds to things such as anxiety does keep me from asking for help on somedays.hopefully there's some nuggets of intellect and wisdom in there, i'm not entirely surebecause i am exhausted, but i will see you tomorrow. bye.