- [voiceover] millions ofamericans hit the polls today to figure out who they wantto be the next president. but for some,reaching a decision after 17 months of nonstopcampaigning, debating, and awkward dancinghasn't been easy. i sat down for a groupof undecided voters, just before theyheaded to the polls. let's have it! who you guys voting for?
- i don't know. - i won't know untili get into the booth. i really won't. it's going to be a boltof lightning striking me, and telling mewhich lever to pull. - your voting strategyis to walk into the booth and wait for lightningto strike you? - yes. - i am fuckingsick of this shit.
you look at the twopeople and you figure out which one you like more, and that's it, boom! (snaps) - that's like choosing betweencancer and heart disease. - he's a bigot, he's a racist... - she's a lying,cheating, bitch. - just pick the one you like... (all speaking) - [christian] both,they're horrible.
- i wanna punch bothof them in the face. - [voiceover] and it'snot just these idiots, more people hateclinton and trump than like either one of them. but maybe i could use their hate to get them to makeup their damn minds. decide who you hate more, and then hate voteagainst that person. who do you hate more?
- he's a piece of shit. but he's less a piece ofshit than the other one. - so he's like asmaller piece of shit... - he's like achihuahua piece of shit compared to a granddame piece of shit. - so therefore, youshould vote for? - no idea. - that's hard, it'snot a cut and dry. - [voiceover] yes it is.
they just neededto do what everyone that hates a politician does. compare them to hitler. i want you to takethis hitler mustache, and stick it onto thecandidate who you hate more. okay, let's see who you guysthink is more like hitler. (signs rustle) that's it, we got it! trump is hitler, 4 to 1.
so we hate trump more. - [all] no. - you literally thinkone of them is hitler, and you still can't decide? - that's correct. - [christian] i wishi had two mustaches. - it doesn't definitivelyinfluence me to make a choice. - answer the question alan! hillary or trump?
- undecided. - [christian] same. - maybe these guys just needed to warm up on makinghate decisions. what do you hatemore, dogs or cats? - [all] cats. - armageddon or deep impact? - [all] armageddon. - armageddon.
- bill cosby or thewashington redskins? - [all] bill cosby - i would say the redskins. - you hate the redskins morethan you hate bill cosby? - i'm a giants fan, soyeah i'll go redskins. - he drugged andraped 50 people. - it's alleged. - alleged. - [voiceover] thesepeople are even undecided
about bill cosby. this is going nowhere. what would it takefor you people to make a fucking decision? (sigh)- i honestly don't know. - i'm kind of hoping oneof them is gonna get killed and the choice willbe made for me. - when the curtain closes,i will make up my mind. until that moment, i shallremain decidedly undecided.
- okay, we aren'tleaving this room until we figure this out. - [voiceover] it was time to make these undecidedsactually vote. so i got two ballots here. you've got the sexist cheezit. or you got the lyingrobot pantsuit. you can't vote for a cheezit, a cheezit is not a human being.
it's an inanimate object. - yes, alan, it wasa metaphor, okay? - that wasn't properlyexplained to us. - how many instructions doyou need for this exercise? - i don't think acheezit, a robot possibly, but not a cheezit. 'cause a robotcould be an android. - that's okay, alan,no one asked you. - okay.
- i want you totake your ballot, and put it into this ballot box. and we're gonna figure out whoyou mother fucking undecideds are gonna vote for, alright? but even a mock votewouldn't come easy. three of you voted for hillary, and two of you voted for trump. early on, four of you decided that trump was more like hitler,
so what that means, isthat one of you decided that trump was more like hitler and you still voted for trump. and i wanna knowwho that person is. - it was me, i got confused. i thought i was votingfor hillary, but itwas really trump. this is too much. - oh my god, we are fucked. - [voiceover] i couldn't letthis happen, so this afternoon,
i decided to stick withone of these idiots all the way to the polls tomake sure he made a decision. (intense music) who did you vote for? - i did not vote for anyone. - are you fucking serious?! fuck! (music fades)