wil wheaton: the only thinggeeks love more than weird and awesome creatures is arguingabout which creature is the most weird and themost awesome. pop quiz, hotshot. robots or ninjas? wrong. pirates, or wizards? seriously? zombies, or aliens?
i'm not saying it's aliens. but it's aliens. today on "tabletop," richsommer, cara santa maria, and jen timms and i are playing acrazy fun card game that lets us combine these science fictionand fantasy creatures into teams for an epic battlethat will settle, once and for all, which creaturesare the most weird and the most awesome. can't we all just get along?
no. this is "smash up." "smash up" is a deck buildinggame designed by paul peterson about a science fiction moviemash-up where different factions of creatures combineinto teams and battle out for supremacy. each deck represents a differentfaction, like pirates, aliens, zombies,and dinosaurs. to build your team youjust grab two decks
and put them together. for example, my zombie dinosaursare now ready to kick your ass. once your team is built, youwill play minions on these bases to make them breakand score you points. each base has a breakpoint total. 16 for the tar pits, 20for the mothership. when that break point total istied or exceeded the base breaks, and the player with themost minion power on that
base scores this many points,the second-most player scores this many points, and so on. on your turn you can play aminion to help break a base, or you can play an actionto help yourself. at the end of your turn you willalways draw two cards, no matter what. first player to 15 victorypoints wins. who will that be? let's find out.
we are going to play"smash up." cara santa maria: my name's carasanta maria, and i am the host and producer of talk nerdyto me, which is a video series on huffingtonpost science. jen timms: my nameis jen timms. i am a videogame producer. i work with united front gamesup in vancouver, british columbia, canada. rich sommer: my nameis sommer.
i'm an actor. i'm currently on a showcalled "mad men." wil wheaton: all right. this is "smash up." iam robot wizards. i am robotic wizards. cara, who are you? cara santa maria: i amdinosaur tricksters. tricky. wil wheaton: tricksydinosaurs.
all right. ok. rich , who are you? rich sommer: i havethe zombie ninjas. wil wheaton: that sounds-- jen timms: awesome. rich sommer: kindof the perfect-- wil wheaton: yeah. well, it sounds like somethingthat doesn't smell good.
rich sommer: no. no, no. wil wheaton: and jen,who are you? jen timms: i am piratesand aliens. wil wheaton: so, are you piratesfrom another planet? jen timms: yes. wil wheaton: or-- jen timms: swashbuckling,transporting kind of pirates. wil wheaton: that's great.
i love that. the player who got up earliesttoday gets to go first in "smash up." i got up at6:45 this morning. not of my own volition, butbecause my dog jumped up on the bed and kicked me,full in the face. so did anyone else getup earlier than that? cara santa maria: i gotup at, like, 12:15. so i'll go first. i'm going to begin byplaying a minion.
i'm going to play a zapbot onthe ninja dojo for two points. and i get to play another minionof two points or less. so i will play theenchantress, also on the ninja dojo. that gives me four pointson the ninja dojo. and i get to draw a card. rich sommer: so muchyou get to do. jen timms: yeah. doesn't end, does it?
wil wheaton: well, that's-- i'm a wizard, and that'swhat wizards do. one of the great things wizardscan do is to start stacking actions. it's like wishing for wishes. i just keep cycling through mydeck until i fill my hand with badass guys. and it makes it much more likelythat i am going to end up in front of thewall of victory.
i shouldn't have said that. no, it's-- it's not-- i've ruined it. i've jinxed it. i am actually not going toplay an action this turn. i'm going to draw two cards,and rich, would you mind moving our little-- rich sommer: oh, yes. i'd be happy to.
wil wheaton: for those of youwatching at home who may play "smash up," we're actually usingspecial cards for this particular episodeof "tabletop." and my turn is done. it is your turn. cara santa maria:it's my turn. and i think what i'm going to dois i'm going to f with wil a little bit. wil wheaton: oh.
that's a good idea. i'm a person you want to haveas an enemy from the first turn of the game. cara santa maria: because it'sfun, because it's fun. yeah, yeah. i think that i picked theright factions for this. because i have a sciencebackground, and i didn't want to play with any magic. so i was a dinosaursand tricksters.
i use power and wit. wil wheaton: ok. in a fight between dinosaursand wizards, wizards always win. because they're magic, anddinosaurs aren't even real. cara santa maria: i'm going toplay, on the first base-- i'm going to play pay the piper,which is an action. wil wheaton: super. oh, wow.
cara santa maria: so, sinceyou're already invested-- wil wheaton: yeah, thanks. appreciate that. cara santa maria: and theni'm going to also play a minion there. i think i'm going to go with mybrownie, which is ongoing. after another player plays acard that affects this minion, that player discardstwo random cards. rich sommer: oh, nightmare.
cara santa maria: so let'sall just go ahead and just squash me. wil wheaton: and thebrownie, of course, is worth four points. cara santa maria: yeah, so. wil wheaton: which is great. cara santa maria:doing all right. rich sommer: so thatmoves us up to 8. 8 of 18.
so 10 points left to go there. cara santa maria: drawing. and now my turn's over. rich sommer: i have no interestin going to the ninja dojo at this point. wil wheaton: which is odd,because it seems like it would be your house. rich sommer: feels like it'swhere i'd want to be. but nope.
although-- although-- cara santa maria: oh, crap. wil wheaton: uh-oh. here we go. rich sommer: hold on a second. cara santa maria: i don't likehaving you to my left. rich sommer: maybe we willinfiltrate our ninja dojo. which i play on a base.
destroy an action that'sbeen played here. and then i can ignore the base'sability until the start of my next turn. i am going to destroythis pay the piper. cara santa maria:thanks for that. wil wheaton: no piperswill be paid today. rich sommer: well, the zombiesare pretty active. they're out there a lot. they keep regenerating.
but the ninjas are sneaky. so they come in at the timeswhen everybody else wants them to be there the least. i'll bring out my zombielord, who doesn't-- i don't get to fully use hisgreat power, which would allow me to play an extra minionfrom my discard. but he's five. so i'm gonna lockit down there. so that brings usto 8-- no, 18--
oh, god. i'm the wrong personto be doing this. wrong person to be doing this. cara santa maria: whatis that, 13? wil wheaton: it bringsus closer to 13. rich sommer: i am not what onewould call good at math. wil wheaton: all right, jen. you're up. jen timms: ok.
i think that i'm going to takemy little buccaneer dude and i'm going to jump over here. i'm not interested in anythingyou guys are doing over there. the cool thing about my cardsis that a lot of them get to stay either on the board-- my pirates get to stay, goingfrom base to base, so i get to keep them in play, and my aliensoften get to come back into my hand, so i don'thave to discard them. which is great.
i'm not gonna play anaction this turn. i'm gonna take my cardsand i'm gonna let you have your turn. i will play the hoverboton the mothership. the hoverbot's magic abilityis that i get to reveal the top card of my deck, and if itis a minion i get to play it. oh, it's a minion. how about that? it's a zapbot, which isalso going to go here.
you may play an extra minionof power 2 or less. rich sommer: you just get tochain and chain and chain. wil wheaton: yep, i do. i get to keep doing that. rich sommer: wil's deck has themost sort of planning that seems to happen. although my deck-- my deckactually has a lot of room for planning, with getting as muchinto the discard pile as you can to bring it back in later.
wil wheaton: i'm going toplay my microbot guard. so, 5. that's going to pushthat up to 9. i draw two cards. my turn is done. rich sommer: i think it'sat 10, isn't it? am i wrong? 3, 3, 4. wil wheaton: 6--
um, 10. now which one of us is badat math, rich sommer? rich sommer: redeemedeverything. wil wheaton: by the way, kids,you are gonna use math when you get out of school. cara santa maria: yeah,you really are. you really are. rich sommer: yep. cara santa maria: i have--
wil wheaton: i feel obligatedto tell you that if you make that base blow up with 5 pointsthen rich is going to get three points-- cara santa maria: oh,and i'll only get 2. i think what i'm going to do,then, is i'm going to play the armor stego, whichis only 3 points. but it has plus 2 power duringother people's turns. rich sommer: ooh. interesting.
wil wheaton: oh, that's great. cara santa maria: i played thearmored stego so that i didn't have to score thebase on my turn. rich would score the base, buti would get the points. rich sommer: interesting. that's gonna happen. do i-- i am going to-- i'm so nervous.
when i get that shinobi in myhand it is all about watching for the opportunityto play it. if the moment presents itself iam going to leap out of the cover of darkness and take apiece of whatever pies is being cut up at that moment. i am going to put thistenacious z here. wil wheaton: yes. i see what you're doing. cara santa maria: i don't.
what are you doing? wil wheaton: tenacious z isawesome because it comes out of the graveyard as basicallya free action on any thing. cara santa maria: smart. that's smart. wil wheaton: so he's putting itthere because the base is going to blow up, and then he'sgoing to have a tenacious z in his graveyard. yeah.
good move. go ahead and draw two cards. and now we're going toscore this base. all right? cara, you have the moston the base, so you're going to get 2 points. congratulations. cara santa maria: thank you. wil wheaton: rich, you have thesecond most on the base,
so you're going toget 3 points. cara santa maria:which is weird. but ok. wil wheaton: congratulations. cara santa maria: that'show ninjas roll. wil wheaton: and all that workthat i did there is rewarded with two lousy points, sothat's good as well. and now this base isgoing to go away. cara santa maria: and what isthe action on the base?
wil wheaton: but before we dothat you get to decide to destroy one of the minionson the base. cara santa maria: i'm going tohave to destroy the buccaneer, because it's-- jen timms: my little buddy. cara santa maria:worth the most. wil wheaton: don't feel bad. it just moves to adifferent base. jen timms: oh, does he-- wait.
he moves? if a buccaneer would bedestroyed, move it to another base instead. so do that. cara santa maria: thisis what happens when you have bad eyes. wil wheaton: and here'sour new-- our new base is the tar pits. and the tar pits--
jen timms: it's wortha good amount. wil wheaton: the tarpits score on 16. jen timms: so i'm just gonnamove him straight over here. wil wheaton: great. i'm up. i am just going to playmy saucy wench. my saucy wench. she, uh-- cara santa maria: oh my gosh.
jen timms: she destroys aminion of power two or less on this base. so if i want to bringher over here it means i can start attacking. wil wheaton: yep. you can. jen timms: he's worth more. yeah, i think that'll do. i think that'll do.
so take him back. wil wheaton: he'sin my graveyard. jen timms: again, i'm notgonna play any action. jen timms: my turn is over. my turn. i will start with an action. i am going to playthe tech center. i choose a base, and i drawone card for each of my minions there.
so i'm gonna draw two cardsat the top of my turn for that base. the next thing i'm going todo is play my chronomage. so i'm going to bringher down here. and now my extra action is toplay an action that lets me play two extra actions. jen timms: oh, god. wil wheaton: so i still havetwo actions coming to me. jen timms: this iswil on his turn.
so, action card. i'm gonna play an action. i'm gonna-- oh, that means ican play another action. cara santa maria: so first i'mgonna play this card, and then-- oh, that letsme play this card. and then, hang on, oh, that letsme play another card-- wil wheaton: so my next actionwill be to reveal the top five cards of my deck-- cara santa maria: oh, god.
wil wheaton: and then placeany minions into my hand. ok, so if-- cara santa maria: i've got 40more to go, you guys, so just take your time. wil wheaton: well, maybe i'llgo ahead and do that. sure. i'm gonna to do that. i'm going to draw cards-- no,i'm not gonna do that. rich sommer: oh my god.
wil wheaton: turn is done. cara santa maria: ok. so. i want to play on tortuga. rich sommer: i'm gonnaassassinate-- wil wheaton: you son of a-- rich sommer: the chronomage. wil wheaton: what? you are-- you are aterrible person.
jen timms: bam, bam, bam. rich sommer: and then thatsignals that my turn is over and i'll draw my two cards. jen timms: all right. well, i'm going to playmy first mate minion. but now my action, igot a little dinghy for my little pirates. cara santa maria: yourcards are so dirty. jen timms: but wait, wait.
these two got wind of the factthat the saucy wench was over on the mothership. so they got their dinghy out,and they're going pew-- because the dinghy letsme move two of them. cara santa maria: oh, cool. jen timms: so they're comingover here to party with the saucy wench. wil wheaton: i don't think jenmeans for her pirates to be as dirty as they'veended up being.
a lot of it just has to dowith the way she talks. jen timms: so i'm lovingpulling my [bleep] out, putting themin the [bleep] with the saucy wench, the firstmate, the buccaneer. it's a [bleep] party. so you just pulled sixover here, right? jen timms: uh, yeah. i did.
wil wheaton: so thatputs us at 17. you have so many points there. and rich, you did such aterrible thing to me. cara santa maria: aw. he's so defeated. it's all right. his turn's gonna go on foranother half hour. rich sommer: that'sright, yeah. this is when i get to--
jen timms: we havetime for a break. rich sommer: take adrink of my water. wil wheaton: oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, [bleep]. i can't do that. rich sommer: i think when ithink about this game of "smash up," i'm going to thinkabout wil doing what are clearly, like, "beautifulmind"-level calculations in his head as he tries to figureout how best to string all of
his cards together. wil wheaton: so thatmakes that-- cara santa maria: anyvacations recently? jen timms: i went to hawaii. cara santa maria: ooh. jen timms: i did do somestand-up paddleboarding. and we had turtles-- wil wheaton: isn't that fun? jen timms: oh my god.
wil wheaton: anne loves that. jen timms: amazing. rich sommer: oh, yeah,paddleboarding is the best. [mumble] cara santa maria: wil, hurryup and finish your turn. rich sommer: go over there-- ok, i got it. minion play. microbot fixer.
if this is the first minion youplayed this turn, you may play an extra minion. ongoing, each of your microbotsgains an additional plus one power. microbot alpha. ongoing, plus one power for eachof your other microbots. wil wheaton: allof your minions are considered microbots. rich sommer: oh, good god.
jen timms: wow. wil wheaton: now. so that's gonna scorethis base. so i'm going to get four. the saucy wench gets two. and zombies, you only get one. and now my specialthing is awesome. the winner may return one of hisor minions of power three or less from here tohis or her hand.
cara santa maria:oh, that's cool. you have too many cardsalready in your hand. wil wheaton: i have exactlythe right number of cards. i'm gonna put all of myminions are considered microbots back into my hand. now our new base isthe grey opal. it's a pirate ship, which shouldmake one of us happy. cara santa maria: all right. i think i'm gonna playwar raptor here.
jen timms: they hunt in pairs. cara santa maria: they do. wil wheaton: did you know thatin real life war raptor vision was based off of lasers? jen timms: of course. wil wheaton: well, there'sa picture, right there. you can see it right there. cara santa maria: thisis completely scientifically accurate.
i should know. i'm a huge dinosaur nerd. that's why i fought forthe dinosaur faction. i even have this tattoo ofarchaeopteryx lithograpgica. it's the berlin specimen. and it's a transitional fossil,which is kind of half-dinosaur, half-bird. and i fought. i fought for this action.
wil wheaton: it's true. it got ugly downstairs. jen timms: so far in the gamei'm keeping it pretty low-key. i've had a few littlelighthearted plays, but i'm holding some of my biggercards back. so i'm hoping that i get achance to play something a bit more exciting this time. cara santa maria: jen,i'm watching you. i don't completely trust you.
this is a little overkill, butthat's kind of what i do because i'm a dinosaur. rich sommer: is thatnext one chicago? cara santa maria: i'm gonnaplay king rex because he's kind of a badass. wil wheaton: whoa. good god! king rex is ready to party. cara santa maria: so that'sgonna take us to--
rich sommer: oh, wow,that's 18, right? cara santa maria: i think i'mgoing to play rampage. which is a bit overkill, butit's working for me. so it reduces the breaking pointby the power of one of my minions. so it brings it all theway down to 13. but either way i'm gonnascore this base. rich sommer: can iask a question? just out of curiosity.
let's say, hypothetically-- cara santa maria: oh, god, didi do something stupid? rich sommer: no, no,no, you're doing-- you're the best. you-- your fate hasbeen sealed. wil wheaton: that was the most"mad men" thing i've seen you do since you've beenhere, all day. jen timms: i was thinkingthat, and i didn't want to say anything!
wil wheaton: i was like,are we going for a two-martini lunch? like, let's do this? that was the most mad mennything i've ever-- that's number two! that was great. that was amazing! i feel like i'm inthe show, now! rich sommer: verywarm right now.
hypothetically, if twopeople were to tie-- so first place ispretty well set. second place looks set. let's say, i don't know-- wil wheaton: like shinobimight pop around? is that what you'rewondering about? rich sommer: i'm just saying,like, let's say that i was there and i were to tiefor third place. what would that mean?
would we each get two? jen timms: yeah, you'deach get two. rich sommer: yeah. shinobi! wil wheaton: so thisbase scores. let's go. i'm going to put my-- let's pop him over here. just to scout it out first.
wil wheaton: your scoutis adorable. jen timms: and take two cards. and my turn is over. wil wheaton: i am going toplay the hoverbot on the central brain. i reveal the top cardof my deck. if it's a minion i canplay it, otherwise i put it back in. ooh, it's a minion!
ooh, look at that,it's the nukebot. sweet. after this minion is destroyed,destroy each other player's minions on this base. cara santa maria: so let's allnot destroy that minion. wil wheaton: i'm gonnaplay it there. rich sommer: so that's currentlyat 6, 10, 14. because each minion hasplus one power. jen timms: oh.
wil wheaton: so that'sthere at 14. cara santa maria: are you gonnaplay an action, or? wil wheaton: i am not goingto play an action. i am so close. i can play literally anycard in my hand and i will win the game. so right now thisis 6, 10, 14. wil wheaton: that's correct. cara santa maria: which meansthat it needs five to score.
wil wheaton: fiveto score, yeah. cara santa maria: oh yeah. and you've got the plus one. rich sommer: so you justneed a four to score. cara santa maria: butthen he'll win. rich sommer: truth. look. he has enough points that ittakes him even getting second place at that baseto win the game.
i just am trying to keephim from tilting it entirely in his favor. in fact, i'm just trying tokick him off the base. if i can get him off the basethen i have a shot. cara santa maria: oh, thisis really tough. rich sommer: i say youdestroy his nukebot. wil wheaton: i saywe let him win! cara santa maria: if i play-- i just want to make suremy math is good.
if i play something that'sthree here, this will be tipping at 18. and then we can start todestroy you, possibly. rich sommer: i'lldo what i can. wil wheaton: i just feel thisweird kind of cross-table collusion going on. normally it would really suck tobe ganged up on like that. but i was ganged up on by richand cara, who were both within a point of me.
so that-- you know, i get it. it's a legitimate strategy. cara santa maria: i'm playinga gnome, which is a power three, which takesus up to 18. that's-- i can't do anything with him. he says i can destroy a minionwith a power less than the number i have, but ionly have one out.
so that takes us to 18. just because i have it, play thehideout, which says that-- it's ongoing. if another player's action wouldaffect my minions here, i can destroy thiscard instead. it's like my pawn. ok, cool. so that's it. i'm going to draw two, and--
rawr. rich sommer: oh, man. i can at least-- i'm going to poisonthe nukebot. what does that do? rich sommer: it would destroyany actions on it, but there aren't any. and now that minion is minusfour of its power. cara santa maria:oh, that's good.
rich sommer: so it'stwo instead of a-- so the nukebot hasbeen poisoned. wil wheaton: so thatputs us back at 14. rich sommer: i think that'sall i really can do. cara santa maria: jen. again, this is a math question,so i have to-- cara santa maria: we'recounting on you, jen. jen timms: i'm gonna playmy disintegrator. this is my action.
it places a minion of powerthree or less at the bottom of the owner's deck. i just want to get you outof the danger zone here a little bit, so. wil wheaton: but it's notpower three or less. i don't have a minion-- oh, son of a bitch! no, my-- jen timms: oh, he is now.
wil wheaton: my nukebot. cara santa maria: he'sonly worth one now. rich sommer: oh, yeah. wil wheaton: my nukebotis only worth two. rich sommer: can i geta high-five on that? thank you. wil wheaton: so that actuallytakes two more points off of that deck. jen timms: so, two for me.
and my time is done. cara santa maria: oh, no. wil, no. first thing i'm going to dois play zapbot down here. i'm going to play the neophyte,which lets me reveal the top card on my deck, and ifit's an action then i get to play it, otherwise itjust goes right back to the top of my deck. it's not an action, it's aminion, so that's going to
stay there. and then i don't actuallyhave an action. and now i will move this up. rich sommer: that'sat 18, right? wil wheaton: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. jen timms: that's reallyuncomfortably-- cara santa maria: and you havehow many points out right now? 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10? cara santa maria: and i have 3,4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
i win! rich sommer: whoa. what just happened? jen timms: what just happened? cara santa maria: his face. dinosaur. wil wheaton: hold on, hold on,hold on a second, we might have a tie situation. cara santa maria: we might,you're right.
because you've got two,and i got four. rich sommer: shinobi, shinobi! wil wheaton: you can shinobi. rich sommer: [inaudible] ninjabrings in this [inaudible]. wil wheaton: 11, 12, 13, 14-- cara santa mario,congratulations. wil wheaton: you are the"smash up" victor. hey, you're in my spot. rich sommer: oh.
sorry about that. wil wheaton: yeah,that's all right. rich sommer: here, i'll just-- wow, you sit therea lot, i guess. wil wheaton: i really,really do. so, i am not gonna make thisabout how i was one point away from victory for two rounds. jen timms: no. wil wheaton: it's not gonna beabout how i have had a speech
written since season one of"tabletop" that i have never gotten to deliver, that ithought i was going to get to deliver tonight. i want to make this about howgrateful i am that you guys came and played onthe show with me. and did you have fun? rich sommer: absolutely. jen timms: totally. that was awesome.
wil wheaton: yeah, itwas great, right? it's a really terrific game. rich sommer: great game. jen timms: so much fun. wil wheaton: and, uh, i'm goingto go downstairs and talk to cara. jen timms: the winner? wil wheaton: the winner. jen timms: the winner.
wil wheaton: i imagine it'sa great place to be. just leave the sign there. last year on "tabletop,"everyone who played got to hold a trophy. but we had to take it back,because it's expensive, and beautiful, and we kind ofblew our budget on it. wil wheaton: so this year i wantall of our players to get to take something home withthem that's special. so you get this "tabletop"certificate of awesome.
cara santa maria: whatdoes that say? wil wheaton: it saysnew jersey regional champion baby juggler. mm-hm. wil wheaton: don'tworry about it. i'll fix it. so if you'll just give me yourshoulders for a minute, i will just cross this out here,and that as well, and i'll write tabletop.
awarded to cara. signed by wil "theloser" wheaton. here you go. oh, one last thing to makeit all official. a seal of awesome. please make a speech. cara santa maria: um, this onegoes out for all the geek girls out there, because wereally are good at math. wil wheaton: that's awesome.
thanks for watching. until next time, play moregames, and we'll see you right back here on "tabletop."